


Nightmares and Apologies (A Gallagher Girls One-Shot)

by bandanxietyy



Category: Gallagher Girls Series - Ally Carter
Genre: Ally Carter - Freeform, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fanfic, Fanfiction, Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Zammie, gallagher girls - Freeform, gallagher girls series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24031930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandanxietyy/pseuds/bandanxietyy
Summary: After the events of UWS, Zach and Cammie get an apartment together by Georgetown. Even though things seem like they are perfect, each of them are dealing with the aftermath of taking down the Circle.
Relationships: Zachary Goode/Cameron Morgan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 49





	Nightmares and Apologies (A Gallagher Girls One-Shot)

The nightmares were bad that night, as they always are. But this time it was enough to make me wake up…

_The smell of smoke seemed to suffocate the air. There was no room to breathe, no clean fumes to draw in. And all those voices… “Faster, we don’t admit slow pokes… do this or you don’t get the option of eating tomorrow.” So many voices._

_“Come on, Goode! Just because you’re her son doesn’t mean you get special treatment! Now move!”_

_Move. That was always the mission. Keep moving. Keep running. Don’t stop or you’re dead._

_“Let’s go! These laps aren’t going to run themselves! Pick it up!”_

“Zach!”

_I turned at the sound of my name. Somewhere deep inside, I knew something about that wasn’t right. After all, they don’t exactly call you by your first name at Blackthorne. If they ever manage to name you at all. But, nevertheless, my name was drifting through the wind._

“Zach!”

_I looked around. The fumes were so thick now. It was hard to see. But what was better? Being choked by the fumes below the ground or being choked by your supposed partners---brothers, assassins---in training? Was that supposed to be better? It wasn’t, not by a long shot._

“Wake up!”

_I was shoved into the mud. The sounds of heavy breathing and low grunts were all around me. And then I was yanked to my feet in a rough manner. And all sense of clarity was gone. Any sense of focus was ripped apart without so much as a warning. We are always supposed to be alert and on top of our game here but, I was distracted. And distracted boys only cause hold-ups. The yells moved closer to me and I watched as someone in black came to stand in front of me. I could see the sweat on his forehead. I could practically hear the heart in his chest._

_“I told you to keep moving! Are you that dimwitted that you can’t keep on your feet?! When I say move, you move!”_

_I heard the movement before I saw it. I knew to move. I should’ve side stepped or ducked but, I knew that would only make matters worse for me. It was just as important to know when to dodge a hit, as it was to take one. The impact hit me with a jolt---the impact being his fist. I fell. Something I always did. Always falling. Always hurtling towards the unknown._

“Zach, please wake up,” _A voice pleaded._

_I knew that voice as well as I knew my own. I loved that voice. I had followed that voice to Boston, Massachusetts; Washington, D.C.; Cleveland, Ohio; and even London, England. I would do anything for her. I would follow her to the ends of the earth if I could._

_“We don’t admit fools, Goode! You don’t get special treatment because your mommy is in charge! Now stand up and fight like a man!”_

_I heard him. But I was too far away. Cammie. She wasn’t supposed to be here. She was never supposed to be here. It was too dangerous. How stupid could she be? No. Not stupid. She was far from that. Just reckless._

_There was a kick to my side, and I gritted my teeth to keep from yelling out. I knew that was going to bruise. It always did. I was down in the mud and everything seemed to be getting thicker. No. Blurry. I couldn’t see._

“Sorry…”

_There was that voice again… that sweet voice. Faint but clear. The voice that had the ability to pull me out of anything. The voice that---_

I jerked to the side, pulling my knees up to get away and block whatever had inflicted pain. In doing so, I smacked my head against the wall beside me. Discomfort and pain flooded through me in various areas. The side of my head, for one… and a certain area between my legs. My eyes focused in a matter of seconds but by then, I had already placed the mystery attacker on their stomach, pinning their arm behind them like I was trained to do.

“Zach…” The voice said softly. That same voice from my dream…

I looked down in shock, processing the situation. I immediately let go. “S-Sorry,” I managed to say, fear and shame bleeding through me in rapid succession. I hadn’t meant to do that. Right? How could I have done that?

“Hey… It’s okay.” Cammie said softly, sitting up to reach for me.

I shook my head, willing the thoughts to disappear as quickly as they came, but they stayed put—taunting me with my guilt. I backed away, slipping out of the bed. What had I done?

“Zach---” She started but, I was already gone.

I fled. I left the room, my steps light and my actions determined. I had to get away. I had to leave. It was like being back in the tombs of Blackthorne. The air was heavy inside. It felt sticky around me which was normal for the middle of July. But I felt like I was choking.

It was like that sometimes. The nightmares. The flashbacks. They attacked without warning and no matter how hard I tried; they wouldn’t leave me alone. I was putting Cam at risk because of it. I was hurting her, and I couldn’t control it.

The night air was thin, drifting through me like it wanted me to cool down. It smelled like mist and exhaust; the scent was something I was now used to. I stayed outside. The backyard was small, but it was all we could afford at the moment and it was close to Georgetown—Cammie’s school. It was safe but not enough to keep the nightmares away. Not even the sound of D.C. traffic was enough to drown them out.

I didn’t hear the door open or her feet against the wood but, the board on the deck below me shifted ever so slightly, giving her away. She didn’t say anything. What was there to say? We knew better than anyone that nightmares are normal. Well, normal for us. It was something we had in common. And this wasn’t the first time that the situation escalated. But, it didn’t make the guilt fade any less.

Most nights they alternated between the two of us. There were times when I woke up in a cold sweat and she was there with a damp washcloth. Other times, I was holding her close as she cried into my chest, the both of us sitting out on the deck. There were many times that we stayed up because neither of us wanted to go back and face the nightmares---the memories. I often stayed awake, waiting for her to wake from a nightmare, wanting nothing more than to protect her. Sleepless nights were practically part of our routine. Not to mention part of our mission-led lives.

My mother’s face haunted our dreams, turning them into nightmares. I wanted nothing more than to scrub my memory clean but, I knew I couldn’t. I didn’t have that luxury. I sometimes envied Cammie, thinking that she was lucky. But I knew she wasn’t.

Her nightmares were fitful. She was always panting, tossing and turning. She repeats phrases, muttering them in her sleep. Words from her father. Words from Joe. And words from Dr. Steve and my mother. I knew how to pick them out and piece them together. And I usually knew how to pick out which nightmare it was for the night, just from her mutters.

She stayed silent, wrapping her arms around my waist. She kept me grounded. She kept me sane. She kept the nightmares at bay. Or at least, kept them from getting worse.

“Want some tea?” She asks, already knowing my answer.

Cam slips away without a sound, her feet silent against the floor. I turn to watch her go---my shirt hanging off her shoulders, barely making its way to her thighs. She was beautiful. She was a distraction. And for that, I was grateful.

I knew there were things we didn’t willingly talk about. Like Blackthorne. Like the Circle of Cavan. Like Catherine. But, no matter what it was, we always had each other. And right then, I knew I wouldn’t take back anything that had happened because it had let us here.

And there was no other place I wanted to be. There was no other person I wanted to be with.

I would rather take the nightmares over and over than risk losing her again.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published Zammie fic as well as my first time on AO3. I really hope it's good. Please feel free to comment your feedback, it is much appreciated!


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